Most often children talk back to get attention. Usually, they are very successful. Nothing provokes parents like a wise answer from a child. Parents are right to expect respect from their children, but when they react to a child’s back talk with shouts of their own, they give him exactly the kind of response he is looking for. When your child talks back, take a deep breath and in a calm voice say, “I won’t listen to you when you talk to me that way.” This is a little different from ignoring the verbal abuse. It lets the child know the language is inappropriate and lets him know he won’t get a rise out of you by speaking to you in a disrespectful way.  When backtalk (unkind remarks) spews forth from your preschooler’s previously angelic mouth, you become painfully aware of her ability to mimic words (good or bad) and control her world with them. Like other forms of language, backtalk can only be learned by exposure it. So limit your child’s opportunities to hear unpleasant words. Monitor television viewing, your own language, and that of friends and family.
How to prevent this problem:
• Make your child talk. Talk to your child the way you want her to talk to you. Teach your child how to use language you want to hear. Have your child practice using the words you have modeled. Remember that preschoolers are the world’s greatest imitators.
• In order to react fairly to your child’s increasingly diversified verbal behavior, you need to determine whether your child is talking back or doing something else. For example, sarcasm, name calling, shouting answers, and defiant refusals are back talk. Questions like “do I have to?” are expressions of opinion. Make sure your child understands what you mean by backtalk.
• Limit your child’s exposure to backtalk by keeping tabs on what words slip through your tongue. Also monitor friends, peers, family members, and television characters. What goes in preschoolers’ ears comes out preschoolers mouths. 
Solving the problem:
• Overusing a word reduces its power. Therefore, help your child grow tired of using an offensive word by having her repeat it. You tell your child to say that word until the timer rings. When it rings, you stop him by saying that word. After the word is worn out, she’ll be less likely to use it in the heat of the moment.
• Try to ignore the back talk. Pay as little attention to inoffensive backtalk as you can. Pretending the event didn’t occur takes away the back talker’s power over you. The game isn’t much fun to play without the anticipated payoff your reaction.
• Let your child know what kind of talk you prefer by pointing out when she’s using desirable language. Compliment the nice talk.

Since you know that backtalk is one way your child tries to get power over you, don’t use backtalk yourself. She may find fun ways of entertaining herself by seeing how he/she can get you mad or get your attention by using backtalk, which you don’t want to encourage. Shouting answers back at your child only shows him/her how to use back talk. Although it’s hard not to yell when you’re being yelled at, teach your child how to be respectful. Be polite to your child, as if he/she were a guest in your home. Backtalk is, at worst, annoying. No evidence supports the belief that we make children respectful by punishing them for disrespect. Only fear is taught through punishment-not respect.