Your love story has turned into heartbreak instead of a happily ever after. But you’re in no mood to remember those beautiful moments you both have shared earlier. Instead, you’re baying for yours beau’s blood, his cash, car and the cushy lifestyle. And what’s spewing out is a lot of bile, ugly venomous fights, name calling and a long session of washing dirty linen in public. I think this is no way to end up a relationship. Be mature about it. You shared some good times and when things don’t continue in the same vein, don’t let them get ugly. The fact that a relationship between a man and a woman can no longer proceed peacefully is no reason to get down and dirty. The end of marriage can be brought about with dignity and a semblance of decorum. So the question is how do you walk away with your head held high, when your relationship is not ending on a happily ever after note? Here the experts give you the low down on making a smart split:

• Why shouldn’t you let him have it for all those times when you are suffered silently? First you owe it to your partner and yourself to remember the good times, when you negotiate.

• Secondly, if it’s not a happy ending, it does not have to be an unhappy one, because settling scores over past differences can lead to nothing but more ugliness. So focus your energies on the separation procedure and junk the mud slinging. Your marriage had problems; you’ve found a solution in a legal separation, so severe the ties with as little bad blood as possible.

• Don’t play out your personal matters in front of public i.e. don’t make it a public show. If you’ve decided to go in for a divorce, don’t lose your prestige and peace in mind, trying to establish that you’re the victim and your partner is one at fault. Your friends and relatives don’t need to know all the hurt heaped on you be your partner. In marriages with ugly episodes of violence, abuse and victimization, seek professional help for your problems.

• A failed marriage runs into further problems when the couple discusses the divorce settlement. To prevent a breakdown of talks at this stage, the husband and wife to realize that post divorce, they can’t maintain their old lifestyles. Maintaining two houses is a lot more difficult than running one house. Because when you actually separate, you need to have lot have things to buy like two TVs, two refrigerators, two houses and all that is not possible. One of the hard realties of a divorce is that you have to learn to cut corners and live with less than you were used to. The answer is not to make unnecessary demands on your spouse, making him for the failure of the marriage. Escalating demands can only lead to bitterness.

• When you’ve decided to go your separate ways, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Experts say that each couple makes that decision on the basis of the relationships they share with their relatives, especially in-laws. You can chose whether you wish to tell people voluntarily or just let the world spread. If people ask you reasons and you’re not comfortable with giving honest answers, try to make a joke of it.

• One of the main reasons why divorce settlements get ugly is money and the two being custody of children and property. To safeguard against such disputes, it is prudent not to have joint accounts and joint ownership of movable and immovable assets. So clear titles will help to prevent financial disputes.