A set of trustworthy friends as opposed to just that one best pal is one of the things that make our lives richer. What we really need is a circle of friends. Just like in ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S’. You need a tussy Monica, who also provide you an open invitation into her heart. You need a Rachel, who’s a bit of an airhead, but also sincere and warm. You also need a Phoebe who’s a total flake, but is frank and honest. So, okay, life is not a sitcom but if you look around, you probably already do have a ring of troopers around you and just don’t know it. Good friends are really like a favorite pair of broken-in jeans. But experts say this about both friends and jeans-that just because they are your favorite, it doesn’t mean they are perfect for every occasion. It’s important to have a dynamic mixed bag of friends, who can relate to the different situations in your life. You have to draw on the strength that each one offers, and not to try to mould a friend into being something she isn’t. See different friendships for what they are and you will nurture them. And learn to appreciate what you share with each person. Different friendships account for a well rounded, full and appreciative circle of pals. Here are a few basics:
The childhood buddy: This is the one pal you can call and giggle about old times with. She was the one who shared her wardrobe with one you were going on your first date, who you grew pimples and breasts with; the one who saw you through your first period cramps. And for sure, she’s unlike all the friends you’ve made more recently. She’s seen you throw a tantrum and still loves you. And she’s probably very proud of who you are today. And she’s always being there when you need her.
The work pal: Having a friend at work boosts productivity, makes the day fly and makes work more fun. A work pals the one who looks out for you when office politics rear its ugly head. Also, make sure it’s a genuine friendship and not a relationship that goes proof, in case one of you happens to leave the job.
The Mum-Like-Me Pal: If you have a child, you simply must have a co-mum as a pal at your kid’s school… Mums can be very competitive. Each one of us likes to think our babies are the most beautiful, talented, cleverest angles to walk the earth. And there’s even a subtle social hierarchy that manifests itself into the scene. That’s why you need a friend who doesn’t look you up and down and judge you when you rush in late for a PTA meeting with your hair in total disarray, or when you are less than informed about concert practice’ because your kid forget to tell you…. This is also someone you can call when your kids. She is someone you can call when you’re stuck in impossible traffic across town and unable to pick up your kids. A co-mum friend keeps you informed and makes you feel less isolated.
The All-Weather friend: This is a friend who lifts your spirits by just smiling that warm smile. This friend will not disparage you, is not selfish or self-centered, nor does she offer unnecessary advice. She’s not just there for the bad times; she’s happy for you when good things happen too. She’s a real treasure.
The common hobby chum: You also need a friend who shares a common interest with you. Say you are a real outdoors gal. This is the person you can call when you want to take off for the nearest blue mountain or on a trek of valley of flowers. This friendship works well because you share deep feelings about the same thing. It’s also very motivating for you speak the same language. The common interests create a unique bond that deepens with time; this pal could become a real soul sister without too much effort.
The frank friend: We all need a friend who can look us in the eye and tell us that perming our hair makes us look like an ill-tempered poodle! This is one gal who minces no words and tells you like it is. If the guy you are going out with is a jerk, she will tell you that to your face, sometimes even without you asking. If your work stinks, she’ll tell you so. She’s someone you can count on for an honest, straightforward opinion. She’s the one who can get you to straighten your act. The key to keeping your peace with this friend is to talk to her about something only when you want to hear like it is.
So how many of these friends do you have? Or do you have more? Need to add some? Go right ahead. Making friends isn’t as easy as it used to be, but it’s not impossible either. Seek out people who share common interests with you, women you vibe with, and extend casual invitations when you can, without making too much of it. Remember, newer friendships need extra effort and some nurturing. There are very few things in life as fulfilling as real friends. They have made a choice to be with you or to know you. That in itself makes it something special.