You may be happily married but there are times when every couple harbors fears about their relationship, some unfounded, others very real. It is important for couples to talk freely about these anxieties, as addressing them can strengthen their relationship while suppressing them can break a faltering marriage. There are seven major fears that haunt most couples:

First one is the fear of loveless life. Couples who have drifted apart emotionally because they have unresolved issues and resentments piled between them, fear that if these issues remain unresolved and if they cannot have an emotional closure to the hurt and resentment, then they might remain locked in a painful and loveless marriage with no emotional intimacy and that they might remain unfulfilled forever. They fear of not ever having love in their lives because they feel compelled to remain in the marriage for other reasons such as parental pressure, for the children, financial support etc. 

Next one is the fear of physical intimacy between a relationship, if not addressed by either one or both, can result in the permanent state of sexless life. Diabetes, obesity, side effects of medication for hypertension, etc. along with performance pressure, fatigue and stress due to a hectic lifestyle, alcohol or substance abuse, depression, and unresolved emotional issues in the relationship, could result in erectile difficulties. Therefore, the fear of having to remain in a relationship without experiencing the joy of physical intimacy is a major fear in couples.

The next one is the fear of living without a partner. Because of an extra marital affair of the partner, with the partner choosing the affair over the marriage, thus leaving the first spouse partner less. Divorce is dreaded because of the fear of remaining partner less, especially if one suffers from feelings of low self worth, because then one feels that one is not worried enough and therefore will never be able to have another partner.

Then is the fear of ending up penniless. Nowadays money rules the marriage. The fear that the extravagance of your partner, overdrawing on the credit, risky business ventures and bad financial management can bring out this fear in the other partner. And this will result in you not being able to afford the lifestyle that you are used to, on a sustained basis, creates a strain in most marriages.

Most couples fear of being childless. Couples fear that they might not have children because of some reproductive disability in either of them, and this might stigmatize them in society. This fear is generally faced by the women, because if she has a problem in her reproductive system, besides fearing that she will not be seen as complete woman, also she often fears that her spouse might choose to leave her for another woman only to bear a child in order to continue the family name. And this is the same with the husband also when he is biologically unfit, he also fears that his spouse artificially inseminated with the sperm of another man so that he can save face in society. He does not fear his spouse leaving him as much as he fears that she might ill treat him.

Some people fear that their individuality will be sacrificed at the altar of the relationship, and are usually wary of intimacy, suffer from fear of commitment, and are known as committophobics. They fiercely protect their independence. If one fears that one’s individual growth is being stunted, one’s dreams and aspirations are being stunted, and if one’s opinion and views cannot be aired and are instead dismissed and not valued, then one could feel stifled and unable to breathe in the relationship, and resentment could brew against the controlling partner.

The last one is the fear of loss of health. The thought of nursing their partner through a debilitating disease and not living the life of their dreams could be quite overwhelming and anxiety provoking for some people. The fact that one of them might fall ill and be dependent on other partner, especially if the emotional closeness is lacking in the relationship, causes great anxiety. And the other feels like a burden in the relationship.

These seven fears need to be shared by the couple with each other, they need to be empathetically understood by both, and active steps need top be taken by both of them to make this relationship work, because a healthy marriage is made up of two independent, self reliant people with separate as well as mutual interests. Any relationship can face rough weather because of the anxieties and misgivings that crop up in the mind of either partner. Identifying them is the first step towards clearing the air and fortifying your relationship.