A MOVEABLE FEAST
Marriage should be looked at as a banquet table, not a battlefield. You may not appreciate the entire fare on offer, but the variety and richness of what there is gives you the option to choose what your palate appreciates the most, and leave the other dishes alone. Marriage is about mixed tastes, aromas and appearances. It's certainly not caviar and quail at every meal, but neither does it have to be watery gruel four times a day. Incidentally, compatible food habits are far more important than they seem. Couples who have wildly different food preferences rarely enjoy marriage to its fullest since one significant sensual experience, eating, cannot be shared in its entirety. There is something very sexy, on the other hand, about enjoying a meal together and experimenting with new tastes. Chances of such couples being sexually in sync with each other are pretty high, since in my book you cannot revel in one without appreciating the other.
THE SPACE FACTOR
Couples need their privacy. Sometimes one often craves for some quiet, undisturbed time with their spouse. Children are as demanding as you let them be. Once you surrender your own space, you can be sure they'll invade it with a vengeance. You don't have to shut them out totally, but with a little tact and good timing, it's entirely possible to snatch moments which are for the two of you alone. Children get the picture soon enough.
In a marriage, rituals matter far more than one gives them credit for. Each couple eventually evolves their own, and it's important to revalidate them from time to time. It could be rituals which involve the entire family or rituals for just the two of you.
SPECIAL FEELINGS
That word "special". We're al tied to feeling that way sometimes (if not always), a peck on the cheek for buttering toast, sewing on a button, some time if husband came early from office; it makes us feel special. These special things not only bring freshness to your relationship but also revive the romance which got lost in the domestic trivia. Special also includes surprise an unscheduled holiday, a no reason flower. Appreciative comments are also special.
EGO HASSLE
Ego barrier can eat into any marriage and lead to its eventual collapse. Couples who indulge in one-up ship games risk shutting their partners out of their lives permanently. Couples who compete with each other, be it for career goals or social recognition, inevitably end up with a full of trophies and no one to enjoy them with. We all want to stay steps ahead of the pack and life in the fast track. Nothing wrong with personal ambition provided you don't trample on your partner in the race to the top. Marriage is about caring, not piling each other down.