SHARING
Some things can only be shared with a spouse like small intimacies, insecurities, even secret fantasies. Don't involve others in these areas and defile the moment. There are levels of closeness; the one you create with your mate deserves to remain sacred and confidential. Let a small portion of your domestic universe be an exclusive island resort for the two of you. Make it clear that whatever done, no trespassers are allowed, not even kids.

Sharing has to be coupled with respecting each other's privacy. Even from a spouse, excessive interest can become intrusive. There is a difference between nosiness and concern. Don't open letters addressed to the other. Resist the temptation to eavesdrop on phone conversations, open locked drawers or rummage through cupboards. Don't insist on "thought-sharing" unless your partner is willing to confide. These are basic courtesies that reveal your sense of consideration. Never take it for granted that "what's yours is mine". Every individual needs an area to call his or her own.

LOOK GOOD FOR EACH OTHER
Dress up, not for the world, but for the man or woman you share your life with. Looking good for each other shows that you value the living together experience enough not to take each other for granted. This doesn't mean you can never face him without makeup but a basic grooming is as important for your own self-esteem as it is for the health of your marriage and your partner. If both partners are conscious about body maintenance, the relationship smells of roses, not body odor.

SEX IS IMPORTANT
It is important to be completely candid in the one area of your married life that determines how compatible you really are in sex. You should be confident enough to spell out your preferences and underline what you really like. There's no virtue in putting up with sexual manners that you find gross or revolting. Conversely, it is important to let your partner know what you actively enjoy. Most couples fear hurting feelings in this sensitive department and often endure habits that are abhorrent only because inhibitions prevent them from speaking their minds frankly about what they really like in bed. Don't resort to guessing games; be honest with your mate. And remember, the bed sometimes becomes the most neglected piece of furniture in the home. The more time you spend in it, the better.

COMMUNICATION
There is one four-letter word which is vital to a good marriage which is TALK. The more of it you do, the closer you come. Use words with care, though. Use them to love and heal. Not hurt and wound. Couples who communicate together generally stay together. A light talk works like a great glue and is an unbeatable de stressor. Hang in there if ever the chips are down, good marriages are built on shared crises.