There is a blurring of gender rules today; all the more reason why parents need to deal with cross gender behavior in children. When a boy wants to have a doll of his sister, parents find this behavior as abnormal fondness of dolls that worries these narrow minded parents sick. Parents with such a rigid outlook don’t realize the harm they inflict on young minds.
Don’t freak out: According to experts, there’s no need for parents to press the panic button at the first signs of opposite sex behavior in their children. For, the reasons for the behavior could be as simple as the fact that the child lacks playmates of his own sex during the early years of socialization, the absence of an older, same sex role model, or else, excessive attachment to a parent, resulting in the lack of individualization of a boy from his mother or a girl from her father.
Children usually become aware of their gender identity around the age of two. Yet, we might come across a little boy who enjoys wearing his mother’s shoes or a little girl who loves playing football with boys. That’s because, though well aware of their identity as a boy or a girl, little children are still too young to understand what, according to their elders, is gender appropriate behavior. In other words, they are unaware of the gender code.
The gender code: Parents raise their kids to conform to traditional gender roles, but these roles are not necessarily based on the true capabilities of either gender. In this context, it is interesting to note that the girl child’s interest in male pursuits is increasingly gaining acceptance nowadays, but when it comes to the male child showing girlish inclinations, they are frowned upon. Consider this, if a little girl loves to indulge in typical boy stuff, the dotting parents wax eloquent about how their little is a regular tomboy. For instance, if a boy told his dad that his interests lies in cooking, but his father with a rigid outlook don’t realize the harm they inflict on sensitive young minds by saying that this profession is not manly enough. Moreover, if you over react to a harmless cross gender play activity, it could backfire and make a happy kid sullen and combative. Think of your children as just wanting to follow their natural inclinations. Don’t make them feel like they’re doing something wrong.
Get real: Take a long, hard look around you; you’ll see there is a blurring of gender roles in the adult world today. Women pump iron and proudly show off their biceps, without feeling less feminine in any way. Men don’t shy from donning an apron and rustling up meals for the family, quite confident that this in no way undermines their masculinity. Cool dudes flaunt earrings and gals sport radical boy crops with panache. But that’s no big deal.
After all, individuality is everything, and so a person should be free to follow her or his inclinations. Research shows that most children outgrow tendencies towards cross dressing and opposite sex play activities in early childhood itself. All it takes is love, time, a non-judgmental attitude and patience. Just let your children grow.