While every child acts up from time to time, recurring misbehavior can be a real trial. In young children, the most common problems include temper tantrums, dishonesty and aggressive behavior, such as hitting or biting. But by following a few simple guidelines, parents can get these under control quickly. And the right approach transmits the kind of discipline that is worth while and lasting.

 A prominent pediatrician offers some simple and clear guidelines:

• Immediate and consistent discipline teaches children that there are consequences for unacceptable behavior. In the case of time-outs, these work best when they are applied unemotionally, right after the negative behavior. The time-out is a tried and true way of helping young children appreciate the rewards of self control as well as the negative consequences of misbehavior. It works quickly and well, provided the technique is followed to the letter. Picking the place where the child will spend that time is crucial. The spot should be completely boring. The boredom is fine, but not if it’s full of toys, games and other distractions. And there should be no communication until time-out is over. But don’t traumatize your child by making him feel abandoned. Avoid dark and dangerous places such as an unfinished basement or a landing. Also, both parents must deal with a particular misbehavior in the same way every time. Consistency is essential.

• Parents must realize that actions speak louder than words, and should understand the connection between cause and effect. My own experience with my son told me that whether it is a time out or withholding, special toys or privileges, the ground rules are the same. Remain consistent, apply consequences that are meaningful to the child, apply them soon after the negative behavior occurs, and follow consequences with reassurances of love and trust.

• Children can show aggressive behavior at a remarkably early age. My niece was nine months old when she began biting her mother. She would leave bruises on my sister that would last for days. The more she said no to her, the more she would do it. Then finally my sister talked to her pediatrician, who suggested my sister remove herself to another room at first hint of aggression, a kind of reverse time-out. It worked; the biting stopped and never recurred.

• Lying can be a sign of serious problems in adolescence, but younger children often resort to untruths simply to avoid punishment. While it’s important to correct such fibbing as soon as it starts, it doesn’t forecast a life of crime. Children need to learn that, as a parent, you value honesty. If you are certain that your child has told a lie, say so. Don’t accept unbelievable explanations. Most importantly, praise the youngster when he is honest and behaves well.

• Encouraging good behavior is the key element of effective discipline. Parents, who take positive steps in doing so from the time a child is born, seldom find themselves contemplating last resort punishment, such as spanking. In developing a strategy for raising children, parents need to think ahead as to how they plan to deal with inappropriate or unacceptable behavior. Above all, parents should never spank a child when they are angry as they might lose control over the amount of force used.

Nowadays, with both parents working in many families, time is often in short supply. But every child needs regular private time with his parents, time that doesn’t have to be shared with anyone else. Finding those precious extra moments is one of the best ways to encourage good behavior and to balance discipline with love. At all times, good and bad, remember that young children thrive on knowing the rules.