Discipline is the refining fire by which talent becomes ability.
Imagine one fine Sunday you went shopping with your hubby and your cute three year old daughter. While surfing the dresses for your princess, you suddenly find her screaming for chocolates displayed at the next store. You say a big ‘NO’ and the scream even goes more loudly having all the uninvited attention. So you buy the chocolates to avoid the big scene, a cheap treat to keep the child quiet and you at peace, completely ignoring that such decisions are pointing to bigger problems in future.
You surely are in trouble if your bundle of adoration has turned into headstrong, stubborn brat. She is demanding new toys, clothes etc. She has turned hyperactive and destructive, hot headed, violent and vicious. She has mastered the art of ace manipulator. So what do you do? Your patience level is declining and your blood pressure rising. You spank your child, you lock her up in the store room, you bribe her, you try to confide her through love but all efforts seem to be in vain.
Punishment & Discipline:
Shouting, slapping or locking up the child is plain punishment and nothing to do with discipline. Punishment induces pain and the child will always look for a way to pay back on that. It is usually a weak parent who punishes the child in such way so that he controls the child. Channelising the energy in the right direction is important rather than controlling the energy.
If you want to know about the environment of someone’s home, have a talk with the children of the home and your problem will be solved. It is every parent’s desire that their child should be able to differentiate between the right and the wrong. But how many of us actually present the true picture to our children. A child is confused when he gets punished for lying and the adults get away with the same act. We must make sure that we do not tell lies or get angry when the child is around. We should avoid all kinds of fights among their presence and even if we do fight, we make up in front of them. Physical punishment only encourages more aggression in the child.
Rules should be clearly instructed to the children by sitting with the child and guiding him on how to follow instructions. Bribing the child will not help him avoid a certain behavior but it will only enhance its probability. Acting neutrally or negatively to a person’s behavior often reduces the chances of persons acting the same way again. Taking a stand is also very important in front of other relatives, like grandma, to make the child clear that no nonsense would be tolerated.
Love your child with all your heart but be firm with the discipline- you will rarely feel the need to slap or nag. Always remember that discipline promotes a sense of esteem and punishment destroys it.