To handle the problem of sharing:
“Mine” is the buzzword preschoolers use to remind each other (and adults) of their territorial rights. Despite the wars this four-letter word incites in households with children less than five years old, possessiveness will unfortunately not disappear until children are developmentally ready to let it go. Help lay to groundwork for peace by consistently teaching your preschooler the give-and-take rules of the world. Enforce these sharing rules at home, but be patient. Don’t expect them to be righteously followed until you see your child sharing without your intervention-the glorious sign that he’s ready to broaden his boundaries. So here are some preventive measures, which can solve your problem to a greater extent:
Preventions:
• Make sure some toys strictly belong to your child. Before preschoolers can let go of the word “mine” and all the things attached to it, they must be given the chance to possess things. Put away your child’s favorite toys or blankets when visitors come over to play so he won’t be forced to share them.
• Point out how you and your friends share and show your child that he isn’t the only one in the world expected to share his things.
• Point out what sharing means and how much you like it. Tell your child how nicely he’s sharing whenever he’s allowing another person to hold or play with his toys.
• Put labels on similar toys (for twins or children close in age).Make sure you don’t confuse your son’s teddy with his sister’s or brother’s, if they are the same. Label each one with a nametag or a piece of thread to help your children feel confident in their ownership.
• Set up sharing rules: before friends come over to play, let your child know what is expected of him at group sharing times.
• Understand that your child may share better at friend’s house. Your child may be less aggressive about ownership when he’s not defending his own territory.
• Remember that sharing is a development task. Learning to share is an accomplishment that cannot be rushed. Usually at three to four years of age, your child will begin sharing things without being reminded.
Solving the problem:
• Supervise one- and two- years-olds play. Because children younger than three years old cannot be expected to share, stay close by while they are playing, to help resolve sharing conflicts they are too young to handle without assistance.
• Show how the give and take of sharing works. Tell one child that you will be setting the timer, and when the timer rings, the other child has the toy. Keep using the timer until they have grown tired of the toy.
• If the toy is out of reach, it can’t cause any trouble. If the children keep fighting over the toy after it’s been brought out, keep removing it to make the point that not sharing a toy means no one gets to play with it.
Remember that your child will learn the rule about sharing when he’s developmentally ready, not when you force him to do so. When you see your child sharing, you’ll know he’s ready. If your child occasionally has trouble sharing, remove the offending toy rather than punish your child. This puts the blame on the toy, not on the child.