Many parents treat children’s teenage years with needless fear. Teens torture us with heavy metal rock music; they wear outlandish clothes and spend all the time with their friends. But such a behavior does not call for large scale revolt. Adolescence is often a trying time for children and parents. Teenagers have a strong need to establish themselves as individuals in their own minds and in the eyes of others. So here are some points that parents should keep in mind while dealing with their teens.

Not letting your child grow his hair, not letting him go on night out is all right to some extent, but it is very important to let him or her have chances of socializing and fun. Do not feel scared to accept that your teen is bigger, stronger, older and smarter than before.

Always remain as a parent or you can say always remain as the captain of the ship. The friendship between a parent and a child does not include equality. Do not be autocratic or too permissive. What is needed is a combination of both. You must consider the child’s viewpoint and give him/her the leeway, but at the same time, set firm limits.

Communication should be there with your teens, communicate as much as possible. Be open to what your child has to say. Keeping a closed ear would never help. Understand your child’s fear, insecurities and pressures and deal with him or her accordingly. Communicate to your child about the ill effects of drinking and smoking. Setting up these values is a long term process.

Coming down hard on every petty detail makes minor tiffs into huge battles. When your son experiments with his hair or your daughter with outrageous clothes, accept it as harmless.  But, if your teenage wants to be a part of party, where you suspect alcohol might be there, you have every right to put your foot down.

After speaking to two teens in my locality, it became obvious that one was disappointed because he was not allowed to socialize as much as the other one. Thus, thinking that the revolt is always directed at you is wrong.

Keep a check on your reactions. You need to understand that your baby is now an adult. Gracefully accept the change in child parent relationship, and you will discover that the new phase is equally fulfilling.

Teens sometimes favor one parent to the other. A father may allow his daughter privileges her mother opposes. So disagreements about child’s conduct will leave the child confused about which rules to follow.

Discuss with your child about the problem but don’t lecture him. A problem area is an opportunity to teach the child the process of making a good decision. Treating them like little children rather than budding adults simply alienates teens. This is not to say that they no longer require guidance, it just has to be handled in a more mature manner, with discussion, negotiation and understanding of the conflicting needs of teens.

Always appreciate the positive but do not expect it always. Let us all face it; our teens are going to test our resolve. They are going to test it again and again. And at last but not the least, don’t forget to laugh. A sense of humor helps keep things in perceptive. People, who know how to differentiate between important issues and trivial ones, will be able to guide their children in a proper manner.