The moments when children achieve the best that’s in them are the stuff of every parent’s dream. And yet most of us have seen a report card or a dance performance that falls short of what our kids can accomplish. Why can some children repeatedly perform at their peak, while others of equal or superior ability cannot? Many parents assume skill is very much determined by natural ability; the student with the highest IQ will get the best grades. But I have learnt otherwise, genes count in determining performance, but they’re not everything. The edge comes from mental attitude, character and strategy. And I’ve discovered some simple ways for parents to teach their kids those skills:
Praise and reward:
A child who feels good about himself succeeds nurturing that self esteem is the central element of inspiring a child to peak performance and you can’t start too early. You can build self esteem in tiny bits one after another. E.g. It isn’t easy to praise your son when team has just lost an inter soccer match 1-0 and he missed two easy shots at the goal. But you can try something to encourage him.
Don’t criticize him on his failure:
Unfortunately, if you could tape parent comments on a child’s performance, you’d probably find a high percentage of negative remarks. Worse, the criticism may be accompanied by put- downs. If you keep on telling your son something is wrong with him, sooner or later he believes it. So criticize the behavior but not the child. Always leave your son knowing what you want him to do, not what you don’t want him to.
Tell your child about his plus points:
Too often we try to mould our kids into what we want them to like or be, rather than listening to their own opinions and self-assessments. Try this example, a boy who tells you proudly he can balance on one foot may never be a first rate cricketer, but, given the opportunity, he may be a first rate soccer player.
Encourage self-applause:
Talking positively to you about yourself reinforces self image, which in turn improves performance. Better performance causes more self praise, which elevates self image, which triggers further improvement and bolsters confidence to be a better what he wants to be.
Teach them to relax and concentrate:
Knowing how to relax is the key to peak performance. Because when you are relaxed, your mind is clearer, and your body can function at its greatest efficiency. Teach him to focus on that idea until he feels calm. A relaxed mood helps to set aside distractions and zero in on the task ahead. You can also sharpen the child’s ability to concentrate with little drills like rehearse mentally. Since kids have vivid imaginations, they take readily to visualization. Before an exam, urge your child to study hard and then create a mental motion picture of the whole test. After several such visualizations, the test will itself seem routine.
Always remind him of his success and goal:

A good report card posted where your daughter will see it reminds her that she can do it again and reinforces to repeat her success. Always make her remind of her ultimate goal.
But some parents try to goad their kids with bribes, guilt or fear, all fail. Fear gets results, temporarily. E.g. put a pistol to my head and I’ll do anything you’ll say. But remove the gun and my first thought is revenge, not better performance. There are no shortcuts to bringing your child to do his best. It’s a gradual process of support, encouragement and hard work. And those efforts pay off not only in peak performance but in closer, warmer relations between parent and a child.