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Managing Work And Children

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By: Jagpreet Kaur, In Parenting
Updated: Saturday, September 22, 2007
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Choosing between a career and your child is a very vital question for most of the single mothers. It’s actually the question of one’s preferences that what they consider to be their priority. We clear this problem by taking a good example of working single mothers that will make it easier to.

For instance, if your company offered you a promotion, which will undoubtedly result in a better pay package, but it, would also mean longer working hours. And this is the problem that you are single bread earner of three year old girl child. And also you want to give your child the most of attention and love at this age. But if you take up the work that is offered by the company that means the financial stability for you as this is also important for a single mother and also results in a very little time to take good care of her. Your parents might be offering their help in attending your child, but what you feel about this situation and how you tackle this kind of dilemma. So here is the expert’s advice on how to tackle this problem:

Solution no.1: Do you really think that earning a few extra thousands is more important than imparting the right principles to your child? Having your identity is necessary, but if you have chosen to take responsibility of someone else, you should fulfill it to the best of your abilities. Experts don’t mean to say that you’re ignoring your daughter, but your daughter is at an age, when she needs as much of your time and attention as you can give her. We sometimes don’t realize how we might end up affecting children at this tender age when they are absorbing everything, including behavior, around them. This might carry into her life when she grows up.

Solution no.2: You should take the promotion at work only if you’re satisfied that your parents will be able to raise your daughter just as you would. That does not mean experts point fingers, but to give your child in someone’s hands, even your own parents, is something to think about. Not because they mean harm, but because their ideologies might be very different from yours, and we want our children to be like us. Being a single parent, it’s important to have financial security, hence the promotion at work seems luring.

Solution no.3: The decision has to be yours. Nobody can help you choose between your family and your work, which will eventually help your family. You being a single parent make the decision trickier, so you need to think about it rationally and not emotionally. Weigh the pros and cons of situations, what you might gain or lose out on and the make a choice. In the end, whatever you decide upon, live by it 100 percent. If you regret any decision made, you will only make yourself miserable.

The last solution is, this question raises many significant concerns that possibly every working women faces at some point or the other in her life. Fortunately or unfortunately, depends on the way you look at it, god gifted us with intellect and with the capacity to bear children, little realizing that we women would bemoan that fact and make ourselves miserable because of it.

You need to ask yourself what is important to you. What do you intensely value? What would at the end of the day give you an inherently satisfying feeling? When going to bed, how would you feel you have been on the playground, spent an evening at a kids’ birthday party, or generally accompanied your kid to her drawing class? Versus, having been at work, earning that extra packet that would no doubt make you and your child more financially secure and stable and aid in more material comforts? Whatever is your answer, believe and stand by it. For there is nothing more disturbing than compromising on your integrity. Yes, for that integrity we often have to pay a price, sometimes a heavy one, but as Emerson said, “Nothing can give you peace and happiness but yourself and the triumph of your principles.”

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