We as parents, all have a special bond with our kids who can’t be expressed in words and we feel a sense of happiness when a child tells his/her experiences to us. You know that your child will be happier when she shares their life with you and when they don’t keep secrets from you and when she confides her concerns in you as you could help them with their problems. But if your child does not share don’t worry much as maybe your child is more reserved, preferring to her feelings to herself. Deal with it tactfully.

UNDERSTAND WHY CHILDREN KEEP SECRETS
1. Children keep secrets from their parents for a variety of reasons. Secrets con become an exciting part of the child’s friendships. For instance she enjoys having confidences that he/she shares only with her friends, for example, secrets about the music she likes or the teachers they dislike.

2. Sometimes a child keeps a secret because she knows it concerns something her parents would disapprove of so in that case, they prefer concealment.

3. And there are occasions when a child keeps a secret and won’t confide in her parents because the child has been asked to do so by a third party.

DEALING WITH IT
The first reason of keeping secret is not harmful but the later two are definitely of concern. Tell your child that you think it is acceptable for her to talk about her feelings in private with a friend. However, explain that some things should never be kept secret, for example, if he/she is in danger of being hurt or if the secret involves something she knows is wrong.
Emphasize that she should never keep a confidence just because he/she is afraid of the consequences of revealing it to you. Take the child in confidence and assure them that your child can talk to you about anything and that you will always listen to what she/he has to say. Add don’t break their trust and assure them that you won’t divulge their secrets. It is important to explain that you always want them to tell you the truth, even if that means admitting that they have done something they know you will disapprove of.

The main worry you have when it comes to secrets is that your child might conceal something from you which you should really be made aware of, how far you should press them to reveal the information. Don’t be forceful as chances are they might simply deny that. Be honest with them about your concern. Tell your child upfront that you are worried that they are hiding something from you and that you would prefer them to be direct and open about it.

If your child keeps a diary, respect his/her privacy. Keeping a diary is a good way for older children to express themselves, especially if they are reserved about their feelings. Although you are troubled by the appearance of the diary because you look on it as barrier between you and your child, it is simply her way of keeping a record of her personal thoughts. Don’t break the trust that lies in your relationship with your child. Instead of underhand tactics, far better to be open and honest with your child and tell them that you are afraid the diary means that the two of you won’t talk as much as you did before, and seek her reassurance on this matter.