Gone are the days when women were to bear all the burden of pregnancy by her and on the day either the midwife or the nurse told the news to the husband chewing his nails outside the labour room for the good news. No, the science has not advanced that much and it’s still the women going through pregnancy physically if the earlier statement brought some odd ideas into the head, but today the emotional burden and the emotional changes are shared by the couple together, rather than the mother alone. Thanks to movies like NINE MONTHS and SALAAM NAMESTE fathers in the labour room is the in thing.
Nowadays, having the father by the mother’s side in the delivery room is certainly an idea that’s caught on. And there’s no reason why couples can’t consider it. So if you are thinking about it, here a few tips for the big day.
BE INFORMED
Read some books or take a prenatal class. The more information that you have in advance, the better prepared you will be. Knowing roughly what happens during labour and delivery will definitely help dads soothe themselves as the action intensifies, and hopefully, they will be able to pass on this reassurance to their partners when it’s needed. Books like ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ by Murkoff, Eisenberg, Hathaway are good options as they explain what might happen. Go to the hospital and see a delivery room, if possible. And you can better visualize how your baby’s delivery might be.
WORK THE PLAN TOGETHER
Sit with your partner before D-day and discuss how you both hope it will go. And then, remember to be flexible. The plan can include such things as: what, if any, pain medications mom-to-be might like; is an episiotomy something that mom wants to avoid, if possible; does dad want to cut the umbilical cord; or what kind of music would you both like playing in the background. At first, just share your hopes, and hope for the best together. Make sure that the doctors and nurses are told about your plans. It’s a tremendous relief for women to have their husband, the person that they love and trust, dealing with doctors, nurses and others who appear during the labour whirlwind. A husband in the labour room can be the one constant figure to draw strength from, while others come and go, doing their jobs.
TALK THE FEARS
Mostly, fathers fear fainting or throwing up in the delivery room. New dads can accomplish a lot just by standing by their wives sides and not venturing further south. Some men also fear or feel reluctant to watch their partner experience pain, or even worse, they worry about losing the person they love or their baby. It’s good to discuss all these things, and remind dad that their presence can actually ease a woman's pain and fears, too. It’s something that can be shared, the good and the tough stuff, together.