An Indian traditional wedding with its arrangements of RASAMS has an exigent role for every member of the family to play, therefore making the presence of these family members an important part of the whole affair.
Have a look into the many rituals and roles playing in the whole wedding ceremonies. We are beginning from the parents of the bride and the groom.
THE FATHER
The father of the bride generally finances the entire wedding day ceremony. The most important of all rituals is the kanyadaan (MEANS GIVING AWAY THE BRIDE)is performed by the bride’s father. This ritual is the symbolic of the fact that therefore now her husband must take her responsibility. Among Hindus the father of the bride is supposed to be the one to hand out the first invitation of this auspicious occasion to the lord of success and prosperity. And besides this the father of the bride is the first one to perform the milni ceremony. It is a custom to welcome the groom and his relatives.
In a south Indian wedding, the father of the bride is more than the mother of the bride. As in a Tamil wedding the bride’s father welcome the groom and washes his feet with milk and wipe it off with a silk cloth. The bride sits on her father’s lap during the entire kanyadaan ceremony. Though in the rest of South India, this ceremony is performed differently. There the role of the father of the bride remains constant.
The father of the groom in a Hindu wedding performs his duties after the pheras.He gives a present to the bride, which is generally called godhbharai.
THE MOTHER
The mother of the bride assists the purohit with the sthapna ceremony of LordGanesha.Though in the mahira ceremony in which both of the sides take places as mother ‘s brother’s is prerogative, yet her presence is mandatory. Also the mother of the bride performs the aarti to welcome the groom, after the milni ceremony is over.
For the mother of the groom, the wedding of her son is the most important events of her life. When the groom sits on the horse, his mother feeds him sweets and wishes him good luck. She asks him to bring back a beautiful wife.
In Bengali weddings, it is considered inauspicious for the groom’s mother to accompany her son for the wedding rituals. She is supposed to take care of the house and to welcome the newly weds when they are back.
However in Assamese weddings, the joran ceremony is performed by the groom’s mother.It is held two days before the marriage after which officially the girl belongs to groom’s family.On this day groom’s mother and all relatives go to the bride’s house carrying a platter in one hand with aniseed, betelnut and betel in the platter and a gomcha, a few items for the bride, in the other hand. The bride’s mother holds the same and comes out to greet them. Amidst the singing of Biya-Naam (some kind of wedding song), the groom’s mother and rest all are welcomed into the house. The mother of the bride as well as the groom’s mother exchanges the sarai and gomcha.The bride gets two silver betel nuts and silver knives and two packets of turmeric and pulses. One of each is taken back to the groom’s house. Then lamp is lit and brought by the groom’s mother. Then main part of ceremonies then takes place. One of the betel brought is placed on the parting of the bride’s hair.Then a ring is placed on top of this betelnut and some oil is poured thrice on this leaf. With the same ring the groom’s mother applies sindoor to the bride’s maang.
The mother of the groom is supposed to tie the mangalsutra around the bride’s neck, instead of the groom. After this the varmala ceremony takes place.
In gujrati weddings, the role of the groom’s mother starts when her son brings home the bride. She performs an aarti and then places a silver plate containing vermillion mixed with water. In which the bride dip her feet and then enter the house using her right feet first. This custom called kanku chokha.It symbolizes that the bride is like the goddess of wealth.
THE BROTHER
The brother of the bride and the groom, both play a very important role in a Hindu wedding. The brother of the groom becomes the best man; being by his side throughout the ceremony .He is dressed as sarbala and accompanies the groom till the bride comes along with the groom.
In raj put wedding, the brother is the only male to be permitted to accompany the groom to the women section. He is also the only male relative from the groom side who gets to witness the pheras.He also takes part in the kankhichai ceremony, which describes the beauty of the relationship between the bhabhi and her devar.This ritual is celebrated after the day of wedding, when the groom’s brother turns and pull the bride’s ear unless the groom fulfill his brother’s demand.
And in all religions, the brother of the bride goes to bring back his sister a few days after the wedding to her parent’s house for few hours till her husband comes to take her back.
In a Bengali wedding, during the pheras, the bride’s brother makes her sit on a flat board, and then she is carried on that pank seven times encircling the groom.
THE SISTER
The duties of the sister of the groom begin after the wedding, when her brother brings his bride home. She welcomes all the guests by performing aarti and applying tilak.And besides this, she is also supposed to decorate the bed for the wedding night with flowers and the other decorations. The first meal of the bride in her new house is shared with the sister of the groom. The next day of the wedding, the sister of the groom is rewarded lovingly with gifts for making the bed of newly wedded couple.
Among gujratis, the sisters of the groom and some unmarried women in relatives visit the bride to give her some gifts. This ritual called saagri, as this ways the bride and the sisters of the groom get familiar with each other.
And now begin the duties of the sisters of the bride. They have to do some more duties then that the brother of the groom. The bride is not supposed to go alone outside before the few days of her wedding. Thus whenever she has to, she is escorted by her sisters who used to hold the four sides of a dupatta over her head. There is a ritual which used to take place just after the sthapna of lord ganesha.Its a very interesting ritual which is called odhana rasam, which is performed by the sisters of the bride.
In a Punjabi wedding, when the groom arrives with his relatives, the bride’s sisters stop him on the entrance and don’t allow them to step in till he fulfils heir demands. One is nazar utarna, which is held after the bride is dressed up in bridal finery. And finally the juta chupai rasam.All sisters of the bride hide the groom’s jutti when he steps on the vedi for the pheras and if they get succeed in that, anything is theirs  for the asking from the groom’s side.
An Indian traditional wedding with its rituals has an important role for every member of the family to play. Making the presence of these family members has a vital role for the whole affair.